How to Find Inner Peace

blog mindset Dec 27, 2017

In this article, you are going to learn:

  • How to find inner peace through taking responsibility for your own state of being
  • How to better interact with others in your life to reduce conflict
  • Some simple ways to reframe your thoughts to have a better outlook on life overall

These simple concepts are going to give you a great new perspective on life and have the potential for creating long term inner peace. So, let's get started.

Get rid of blame

This is an extremely important first step into finding inner peace. As long as you give your power to something outside of you, you're never going to be able to control it. The only thing you can choose to control is your inner state.

That said, if you're constantly trying to create peace in your life by changing everything on the outside, it's not going to work so we've got to stop blaming other things outside of ourselves and start taking responsibility for who we are and the state we’ve created inside of ourselves.

Unconditional positive regard

Unconditional positive regard was developed by Carl Rogers, a psychologist. It means respect and accept people regardless of what they have said or done. No one is born with the intention to be a bad person. No one comes out of the womb wanting to hurt other people. People do bad things and they hurt other people because of their own internal pain. It's a reaction to the pain that they're in, so even if you feel like someone did something very specific to hurt you, it doesn't necessarily mean it was because of you. What's really going on is that person is in so much pain on the inside that they had to lash out and project. Knowing this, we can start to understand that and have some empathy for everyone because we've all been in pain. We all know what it's like to be hurting.

Since you can never truly understand anyone, it's important to have unconditional positive regard because the second you start to judge someone else, you start to put up barriers and project your own labels onto someone else. Once you've projected those things onto someone else, they don't want to communicate back with you either.

When you come from a place of unconditional positive regard, you're coming from a place of peace and centeredness. And when you're in that state, you can actually think clearly and problem-solve better.

Be calm and centered

This is a big one and I know it sounds easier said than done, but when you’re in a calm and centered state, you’re able to connect into the most evolved part of your brain that allows you to think critically and problem solve better. You’ll end up having more empathy, you'll be in the present moment, and your communication will be nonviolent.

Have faith that all will work out

So maybe you’ve had past experiences that weren’t all that wonderful: all you need to do is learn to reframe those moments. Look back at some of the past moments of your life. How could you have done things differently?

First, we just want to notice those moments (this is the time when you can actually start doing a little bit of journaling). Any kind of extreme emotion that you might still be holding on to, or you just remember that you wish you had done something different in those situations, you're going to write down what those moments were, how you felt, and write down any thoughts and feelings that were going on with you. Then, you're going to take a moment to reflect on that. Look at this situation from a few different perspectives. Now, what could you have done differently? How could you have come to that situation without judgment?

The point of this exercise is simply to get clarity. This is the time when you are actually going to start to reframe your thinking patterns and reframe how you approach life. Expecting yourself to be a different person right after this can be really difficult if you have never practiced anything to create inner peace…but by doing the inner work, by reflecting back on past situations and figuring out how you could have done things differently, you can start to create inner change by being consciously aware of your inner core.

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